More Than a Name:
The Purpose of Choosing a Table Family Name in Kairos Torch

On a Kairos Weekend, something as simple as choosing a name can become much bigger than a name. In Kairos Inside and Kairos Outside, Table Families are already named, and guests are assigned to those families. In Kairos Torch, we intentionally do something different: the youth choose the name. At first glance, this may seem like a small distinction, but it is not. For young people in a juvenile facility, opportunities to make meaningful choices are often extremely limited. Their daily lives are structured by rules, schedules, restrictions, and decisions made by others. Many choices that young people outside a facility may take for granted where they go, what they do, when they do it, and sometimes even who they spend time with, are not theirs to make. That is why, in Kairos Torch, we make room for them to choose. We do not simply ask them to choose something individually; we ask them to choose together.

The Kairos Torch Weekend manual says: “The first activity will be the selection of a table family name by the family members.” The youth are given approximately 15 minutes to select a name and create a sign or crest representing their Table Family. The instructions intentionally give them freedom: the name can be anything they agree upon, as long as it is appropriate and not offensive. That freedom matters because we are saying to these young people: Your voice matters; Your ideas matter; You have something to contribute; You can make a good decision, and you can make that decision with other people.

That is a powerful message to a young person who may have spent much of his or her life being told what to do. The activity gives them a meaningful choice while also inviting them to practice listening, cooperation, and shared responsibility.

There is something different about being assigned to a group and being part of creating the identity of that group. When the youth choose their own Table Family name, they are not simply sitting at a table; they are beginning to create a community. They discuss possibilities, disagree, persuade one another, compromise, and eventually make a decision. Someone may suggest an idea that everyone loves, while someone else may suggest a completely different idea. They have to listen, communicate, and determine what they can agree upon. That process is important because the Table Family name becomes something they own together. It represents the first small piece of identity they have created as a group during the Weekend. When the Weekend Leader and team members subsequently refer to them by the name they selected, it reinforces that identity. The manual specifically instructs the team to use the Table Family’s chosen name throughout the Weekend because doing so “reinforces the dynamic of community and affirms the teamwork in selecting the name.” In other words, the name helps transform a collection of individuals into a family. That sense of ownership can also influence how the youth participate in the rest of the Weekend. They are no longer simply attending an event organized by adults. They have helped create something that represents their group, and that creation gives them a stronger sense of connection to one another and to the larger Kairos Torch community.

More Than an Activity, A Developmental Opportunity

There is also a deeper reason this activity is so important. Kairos Torch is working with young people during a critical period of human development. Adolescence is a time when identity, judgment, relationships, independence, responsibility, and decision-making abilities are developing. The Table Family naming activity gives youth an opportunity to practice those skills in a safe and structured environment. This is consistent with the principles of Group Development Theory. Healthy groups do not simply appear; they develop through interaction, communication, negotiation, shared experiences, establishment of identity, and increasing levels of trust and cohesion. The youth are learning how to function as a group and how their decisions affect other people. They are learning that having a voice does not mean getting everything they want, that disagreement does not have to destroy relationships, and that compromise is not weakness.

They are also learning that they can work alongside adults without adults having to make every decision for them. Perhaps most importantly, they are learning that they can belong to something positive without having to surrender their individuality. The Table Family name becomes a practical way for them to experience cooperation, responsibility, and belonging rather than merely hearing about those ideas. Some might ask, “Why let the youth choose? Why not simply give each Table Family a name?” Because Kairos Torch is not about removing structure. It is about using structure to create opportunities for growth. The adults still establish the boundaries. The name must be appropriate; it cannot contain racial or ethnic slurs, gang-related references, or language that is offensive or contrary to the purpose of the Weekend.

That boundary is important. Youth are given freedom within a safe framework, which is exactly how healthy development works. We do not tell them, “You can do absolutely anything you want.” We tell them, in essence: “You have a choice. Here are the boundaries. Now work together and make a good decision.” That is a life skill. It teaches young people that freedom and responsibility belong together. It also shows them that boundaries do not have to eliminate choice; instead, appropriate boundaries can make meaningful choice possible.

There is another dimension to this activity that should not be overlooked. A young person in a correctional environment can easily become identified by labels: offender, resident, inmate, case number, behavior problem, disciplinary issue.

But during a Kairos Torch Weekend, something different begins to happen. He becomes a member of a Table Family. He has a name, a place, a voice, and something to contribute. He is not merely being managed.

He is participating.

And that distinction matters. The Table Family name may seem insignificant to an adult looking from the outside, but to a young person who rarely gets to participate in meaningful decisions, it can communicate something profound:

“You belong here.”

That message can challenge the negative identities that often surround young people in correctional settings. Instead of being defined only by past behavior or institutional labels, they are invited to see themselves as contributors, teammates, family members, and people capable of making positive choices.

And Then We Ask Them to Tell Their Story

After the families have selected their names and created their signs or crests, each Table Family chooses a spokesperson to explain what the name means and how they arrived at it. That second step is just as important as the first. Now they have to communicate their decision to the larger community and are given an opportunity to stand before others and say, “This is who we are.”

Think about what is happening. A group of young people who may have entered the Weekend as strangers are now standing together, publicly identifying themselves as a family. They have created something, made a decision, worked together, and are now telling their story. The presentation gives them an opportunity to practice confidence, communication, and public expression while also affirming the identity they created together.

That is not just an activity.

That is development.

It is a visible sign that the group has already begun moving from individual participation toward shared identity and community.

Perhaps the greatest significance of naming a Table Family is the movement from “me” to “we.” Kairos Torch is not simply trying to help young people make better individual choices; we are also helping them understand how their choices affect relationships and communities.

The question changes from “What do I want?” to “What can we agree upon?” From “What do I think?” to “What does our group represent?” From “What can I get?” to “What can we create together?”

That movement is essential to healthy relationships, responsible citizenship, leadership, and spiritual growth. It helps young people recognize that community requires both individuality and responsibility. Each person brings something valuable, but the group becomes stronger when members learn how to listen, cooperate, and contribute to a shared purpose.

There is also a biblical foundation beneath this simple activity. The Weekend script reminds the youth that God’s people in the Old Testament were organized by families and tribes. Names mattered. Family identity mattered. Belonging mattered. Throughout Scripture, God repeatedly calls people into community. We are not created to live disconnected from one another. In Kairos Torch, a table becomes more than a place where young people sit; it becomes a place where they begin to discover; I am seen. I am heard. I have a voice. I have something to contribute. I can make good choices. I can work with others. I can belong.

Those are powerful truths for any young person. For a young person living in a juvenile facility, they can be transformative. The Table Family becomes a small but meaningful expression of the larger Christian truth that every person has dignity, value, and a place within a community.

Kairos Torch volunteers sometimes wonder which activities will make the greatest impact during a Weekend. We naturally think about the powerful testimonies, the worship, the Bible studies, the personal conversations, the prayer, and the moments when a young person opens his heart. Those moments are important, but we should never underestimate the seemingly small moments. Sometimes transformation begins with something as simple as a piece of poster board, a few markers, a table full of young people, and one question: “What should we call our family?” For those 15 minutes, these young people are not simply receiving something from adults. They are practicing decision-making, negotiating relationships, discovering their voice, building community, developing identity, and beginning to understand that their choices can create something positive. A short activity can therefore become an early opportunity for growth that continues throughout the Weekend.

So when you see a Kairos Torch Table Family sign displayed throughout a Weekend, don’t see it as merely a decoration. See what is underneath it: the young people who had to listen to one another to create it, the compromises that were made, the laughter, the disagreements that were resolved, the ownership, the belonging, and the deeper purpose behind it all.

It is more than choosing a name.

It is giving a young person the opportunity to say:

“I have a voice. I can make a choice. I can work with others. I belong to this family.”

And sometimes, that is where transformation begins.