By Published On: May 21st, 2025Categories: Kairos Torch3.9 min read

Across the world and within our own neighborhoods, a silent epidemic is wounding our youth: the absence of fathers. It’s a wound that is not always visible, but its effects bleed into every corner of a young person’s life, especially those caught in the grip of incarceration.

The numbers are staggering. In the United States alone, over 18 million children grow up without a father in the home—roughly 1 in 4. The outcomes of this absence are both predictable and tragic:

  • Youth from fatherless homes are four times more likely to live in poverty.
  • They are twice as likely to drop out of school.
  • They face significantly higher rates of depression, suicide, and behavioral disorders.
  • 85% of youth in prison come from homes where the father was either absent, uninvolved, or abusive.

This is what Kairos Torch and many now call “The Father Fracture”, a relational break that goes deeper than economics or education. It is a rupture of identity, affirmation, and belonging. The father, meant to be a mirror of protection, provision, and love, is often missing, shattered, or harmful.

When a father neglects, abandons, or abuses, a lie embeds itself in the heart of a child: “I am not worth loving.” Over time, this lie becomes armor. Anger, rebellion, and isolation become shields. And for far too many, these shields eventually lead them to locked cells, both literal and emotional. Yet, this fracture is not beyond healing. That’s where Kairos Torch steps in.

In the heart of juvenile facilities, Kairos Torch offers something the justice system cannot: the healing power of spiritual fatherhood. In one of the most moving moments of the Kairos Weekend, we hold a forgiveness service, a moment that has proven pivotal in breaking chains we cannot see.

During this service, one man on the team stands in proxy for all fathers, known or unknown, present or absent. With humility and reverence, he asks the youth for forgiveness: “I stand in the place of your father. I ask your forgiveness for not being there. For the abuse. For the silence. For the failure to affirm you. For not telling you how deeply you are loved, how valuable you are, and how proud I am of you…” Then, all the men on the team stand in unity and invite the youth to approach any one of them, to receive what their own father never gave them: a blessing. This is not just any blessing. It is the ancient, priestly blessing from the book of Numbers: The priestly blessing from Numbers 6:24-26 has incredible spiritual weight:

“The Lord bless you and keep you…” (You are protected.)

“The Lord make His face shine upon you…” (You are delighted in.)

“The Lord turn His face toward you…” (You are not forgotten.)

“…and give you peace.” (You are worthy of wholeness.) 

And the youths that come? Some slowly. Some with tears. Some in brokenness. But they often come. Because something in their soul recognizes this moment. This act may seem simple, but it is deeply spiritual—and psychologically transformative.

  1. It Validates the Pain: When a man speaks aloud the wrongs that were done, he gives voice to what the youth could never say. He confirms: “You were not crazy. What happened to you was wrong.”
  2. It Rewires Identity: A father’s blessing was never just a nicety in Scripture; it was a proclamation of destiny. To hear, perhaps for the first time, “You are loved. You are seen. You are enough.”, that shifts something at the core.
  3. It Makes Forgiveness Tangible: Forgiveness often feels like an abstract idea. But when a man looks a youth in the eyes and asks forgiveness, and then offers a blessing, grace takes on flesh.
  4. It Reveals the Father Heart of God: For many of these youth, their view of God is shaped by the father who failed them. But when they see godly men, compassionate, patient, and present, they begin to believe that maybe, just maybe, God the Father is different.

The “father fracture” is a global crisis, but Kairos Torch proves that healing doesn’t require the biological father to return. It requires godly men to rise to stand in the gap, to speak truth over lies, and to restore what was stolen. We cannot overstate the significance of this work. What happens in those sacred moments inside juvenile facilities has the power to rewrite futures, restore identity, and reveal the love of the Father who never leaves nor forsakes.

To every man who stands in proxy: thank you.
To every youth who dares to receive: we bless you.
And to the Father who makes all things new: we give all glory.

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